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Because Parker Lewis still can't lose... [Sep. 29th, 2006|09:02 pm]
Pissed Off Naked Anime

swanktown
[music |Number One Spot by Ludacris]

As we tend to do things prematurely here at PONA (just ask my girlfriend), I'm am here to announce our next con adventure!

November 25 and 26th we will be at Mid-Ohio Con in Killumbus, O-H-I-O! It's right down town on High Street at the convention center, so pretty much everyone should be able to find it. Check it out here for all the details: http://www.midohiocon.com/

May have a bona-fide artiste with us in attendance, as well... if her car survives. Old friend Danielle Corsetto, proud mama of Girls With Slingshots (http://www.girlswithslingshots.com) and the now defunct Ramblers (http://www.daniellecorsetto.com/ramblers_display.php?ramblers=1) and million-issue-a-week selling corporate whore of The Weekly World News (fucking way to go, by the way... I still giggle when I see her name in there) may be down for some gluten-free fun. Last time I saw Danielle, she was crashing on my floor with her then boyfriend during OzzFest 2000-and-fuck-if-I-know-when. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, and you fine young thangs should be too.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Even though I posted it over at personal LJ, I'll repost here for the whole 3 people who don't read that can get in on the Fruedian action... behold, the dream of dreams!!!

I had a dream last Monday night. It was a strange dream. I don't remember all the details, so I am picking this all up mid-dream.

I knew I was in some sort of big house at a beach. For some reason, I keep thinking of the house from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I was in bed, and I was tight up against the wall with the blankets pulled up because I was scared. I could hear some noises, and in some dim bit of lucidity, my mind knew that this was a dream and that it was going to be a haunted house dream. So, I must have mustered up the courage, because I got out of the bed, and went into the very next room, where I found Fred Flintstone, Barney Rubble, Yogi Bear, and Boo Boo.

Not sure how the conversation went, but I was quickly informed that this was not a haunted house, and that they were there for some sort of big gay weekend. But, this wasn't just a couples thing, it was a swinger's thing, and it was going to be Barney and Yogi, and Fred and Boo Boo. I, glad that the house was just queer insted of haunted, went back to bed.

The next morning, I was having a bowl of cereal with Boo Boo, and asked him how the trip was going. He said that sex with Fred was fun, but he was of significant girth, and that it kinda hurt him. I was kind of shocked, and expressed my sympathies. He them told me that he was used to it, because Yogi never quite accepted that he was gay, and blamed Boo Boo for making him that way. So, whenever they had sex, Yogi would punch him. He would just beat him while crying and alternating between screaming "Why did you do this to me?!?!" and sobbing "I love you."

It was like Hannah Bar-Brokeback.

Heh heh, it was funny as hell, but really, what the fuck? I've tried psycho-analysing this one, and it never ends well.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So, keep your eyes on this free bit of internet personal propaganda... new pics to arrive soon!
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Blatz from the Pabst [Jul. 26th, 2006|08:50 pm]
Pissed Off Naked Anime

swanktown
[music |Mountain Song by Gil Mantera's Party Dream]

What the fuck was this? Katsu something?

Yeah, DC, right?

Let's see what happened at that con...

1) girl breaks up with a dude on the way there so she can hit on her ex (me). ex (me) says no. girl goes back out with the other dude. they got married eventually. divorced, too.

2) friendly giant snores like cartoon horse, but lets me sleep in his room for free.

3) i fell in love with Jessica Alba' butt by watching Idle Hands on HBO

4) used other warm bodies as blockers to ward off unwanted advances. sent a concerned but displeased e-mail. got "Fuck you, you fucking fuck," e-mail in reply.

Ah, the good old days... J, you and me got to hang out some time. I may swing over next time I'm down P-burg way.

Stay fly, playa...Collapse )

and check out the hottie in the green semi-plastic pants. Yeah, my dryer actually melted the also plastic zipper to the pants once. I thought they were cool... what the fuck?
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Gar... [Jul. 26th, 2006|08:37 pm]
Pissed Off Naked Anime

swanktown
[music |Anywhere But Here by Lisa Loeb]

Cock-bites over at photo-suck-it took down some of my old pics. Yeah, so I obviously, knowingly, and willing violated their terms of use, but so what?

Ass-hats.

Anyway, talking to a buddy while doing obnoxious trivia @ BW3's, we came up with might be not only my first costume, but my first TWO costumes. I hate to spoil the surprise, but since no one reads this crap anyway, what's it going to hurt.

Costume # 1 - Cobra Commander. This one should be pretty easy. A few mods to a blue shirt, sew on a few cobra patches, make a hood, put some red stripes down the sides of a pair of blue slacks, toss on some leather strappy holster thingies. Voila. Hooded Cobra Commander.

But WAIT! There's ever so much more.

Costume # 2 - SURPRISE Zod. I want to use blue snap pants (Addidas makes some great snap pants... soccer players and shit wear them) and sew velco behind the place on a shirt that has the buttons up front or even under one arm. I will turn away from the crowd, take off my hood, tear off the shirt and pants to reveal the leather/pleather/sweaty-and-uncomfortable General Zod below. His costume would be easy to make (but yeah, how do you wash sweat out of that shit). Beyond that, I would just dye my hair and beard black and wear contacts instead of glasses.

What would be cooler than Cobra Commander being General Zod?

I fucking rule.

Just as this chick.Collapse )

She knows.

Oh yeah, you just KNOW she knows.
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Yeah, I can be kind of a stuffy prick... [Jul. 16th, 2006|10:34 pm]
Pissed Off Naked Anime

swanktown
You scored as Cyclops. Cyclops is the team leader of the X-Men, and a skilled one at that. He loves Jean Grey very much. He's a strict and sometimes uptight leader, but he believes in his cause and he knows what he's fighting for... Peace between Mutants and Humans. Powers: Optic blasts

</td>

Cyclops

75%

Iceman

70%

Emma Frost

70%

Wolverine

65%

Beast

65%

Storm

60%

Colossus

55%

Jean Grey

55%

Rogue

55%

Gambit

45%

Nightcrawler

45%

Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com
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(no subject) [Jun. 5th, 2006|01:37 pm]
Pissed Off Naked Anime

swanktown
[music |Martian Saints by Mary Lou Lord]

So, that's the poop from this convention! Only 8 new pics, but hey, patience is a virtue, and who is more virtuous than I? There was a really cool guy dressed as BK's The King as a Storm Trooper. Now, you know I loves me the King (though I hate BK's food), but I couldn't take this guy's picture. #1, I don't take pictures of Star Wars fans, and #2, they DON'T photograph. They are like vampires, and have no souls. Which is why all my Kevin Smith pictures came out awful.

All the folks I met at the con, thanks for helping me out! Be sure to check the user info for this community to get the full back story on why I am doing this stuff... well, at least a portion of the back story. And head on over to the main LJ @ http://swanktown.livejournal.com/ for a full wrap-up of the con, and the store @ http://stores.ebay.com/SwankTown-Entertainment for great con goodies!

mad love, people.
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Do I need to be writing X-men now? [Jun. 5th, 2006|01:24 pm]
Pissed Off Naked Anime

swanktown
[music |The Facts of Life theme song]

Ok, so Rogue takes peoples powers/life-force/memories/cold sores or whatever from anyone with whom she has skin-to-skin contact. She can't have a decent relationship, because there can be no physical intimacy.

Ignorant cunt. Here's the trick. Step by step. Pay attention.
1) Give fucking Gambit a condom
2) Gambit puts on the condom
3) Lay some fucking saran wrap or a towel or whatever over it, with a small hole cut out
4) Slip Gambit's cajun cock through the hole
5) Get on all fours
6) Take it from behind
7) Stop your god-damned whining... no one likes your terrible accent anyway.

I can think of a thousand other ways for this girl to get laid. If Marvel can create a storyline in which the Super Skrull is once again relevant, surely they can think of a way for someone to pork Rogue.

If Rogue were to try banging DC's Parasite, who has essentially the same power, what would happen? Anything? Would they both get really tired, or really strong? I smell cross-over, people... or at least a really terrible fan fiction.><a href=Collapse )
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Costume like kryptonite... [Jun. 5th, 2006|01:19 pm]
Pissed Off Naked Anime

swanktown
[music |Fire Up The Batmobile by Liz Phair]

Now, I have to admit, this one wins the prize.

Cute red-head, with visable piercings, dressed as Wonder Woman, flipping me off with a smile.

Aw man, right through the heart.

Complete Stranger, I think I love you.Collapse )
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"Hey, Jean Grey! I'm fucking your man!" [Jun. 5th, 2006|01:08 pm]
Pissed Off Naked Anime

swanktown
[music |Misinformed by Soul Coughing]

For years, we all had to deal with the whole Cyclops-Jean Grey-Wolverine love triangle. Now that Jean is dead again (wait, she is dead again, right? and I thought House of M was to make the X-Men less complicated!), Scott is finally getting some new pussy.

All the girls I know who give a damn about these things never understood why Jean would keep picking Scott over ole Lucky Jim Howlett, but when I found this, I finally got it.

Emma is all about getting a 12 Inch Cyclops in her Box.Collapse )<lj-cut.
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Not the first homosexual couple in comics, and now with Batwoman, definitely not the last... [Jun. 5th, 2006|01:00 pm]
Pissed Off Naked Anime

swanktown
[music |Somebody (Depeche Mode cover) by Veruca Salt]

Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, Rocket Red, Red Tornado, Black Goliath, Black Vulcan, Black Racer, Blue Devil, White Queen, Black King, Green Goblin, Purple Man, Green Lantern, Grey Gargoyle, Black Knight... lots of color-named characters.

Over at I-Mockery, no, it was Nuklear Power, they had a thing where they were thinking of all the possible names for heroes an villians that could also double as sex toys. It is a surprisingly fun and time-consuming exercise. There are far more than you may at first imagine.

Booster and Beetle, shortly after they were told that the Human Rights Campaign had chosen Batman and Robin as their Super-Hero Out Couple of the Year.Collapse )
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Is he strong? Listen, bud... [Jun. 5th, 2006|12:55 pm]
Pissed Off Naked Anime

swanktown
[music |Eisblumen by Blumchen... No, really.]

I miss the little webby wings that Spider-man used to have in his armpits. I don't know what they were for exactly. Did they help him swing farther or something, like those little flaps of skin on a Sugar Glider?

Who cares? They were cool.

This is his opinion of the new Iron Spider armor... and an opinion I share.Collapse )

Fuck JMS.
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